Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
