I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
