Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I have post one night stand depression
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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