btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
