Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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