i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
