Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Randomize
