You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
