the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
