the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
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