Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
