At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
