So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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