Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
