508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
