Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
