That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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