So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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