And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize