I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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