so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
