can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
