saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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