Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
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