I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
