Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
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