Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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