So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
