TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I need moral support for this bender
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
