theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
how does that bad decision feel?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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