is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
and she was petting her beer can
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
