Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
