Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
ttyl tear gas
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
