I'm gonna have a badass scar
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
People in love make me want to vomit
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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