Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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