my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
