According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
