So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
