im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
