This is not my ceiling
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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