This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
