and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
