I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This is classic penis vs brain.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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