Me. At least after what I've been through.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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