Christians are straight up FREAKS
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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