This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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