Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
