p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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