I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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