love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
