is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
