Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
