We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
