hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
