it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Mom said you looked used
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
