some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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