if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
