Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Is it penis luge time yet?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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