Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
