is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
